For probably the last 3 months, I’ve had an itch on my leg – the back part of my calf to be specific. I thought perhaps I hadn’t been washing my legs thoroughly enough in the shower and that if I did, the problem would go away. Not only did it just get worse, but it seemed to have spread to the other leg as well.

After enough time spent rolling up my pants at work just to relieve myself (not in the way you might be thinking), it was time to see the dermatologist. For the most part, it was the only time I had ever really been genuinely fearful of my skin mutating into some kind of alien matter. I had watched the movie District 9 only a few weeks prior, and I was really starting to worry that this was a symptom of some kind of alien incubation process. This was of course the only conclusion I could draw to as after enough time spent meticulously scrubbing my legs with all kinds of soap, nothing was improving.

The dermatologist revealed that the condition was called eczema, and that it was an allergic reaction activated by stress and dry skin – looks like my life as a human being is safe – at least until the eczema treatment proves ineffective.